My Sufferings Within

25th September,2009

There are times when I feel as if I am so lonely. I feel that there is none who cares for me, I feel even those who care for me , they care for just to get what they can get from me. Some want to get what a bit of things I have, Some just want to get what they can suck from my mind, some just want to give company just to get their own personal benefit. I feel I am just sucked out by these kind of people. I feel I don't get people of my type. I feel I am somehow different from others but I really donot understand what differs me from others. I don't like the unnecessary talks, I don't like to so called fun that generally young guys do. I don't like much of the association of the people. There are times I feel that none understands me.It is a big question to me whether I am having some problem or I am having a different perspective of life.

Sometime I am suffer within, I can't express to anyone. I can't express to my parents because they might take it to be a burden on them. I can't share it my siblings, they might not understand it the way I want them to understand. I can't share it to my girl friend, because it seems she has a different dimensions of feelings. She seems to ask for the fulfillment of her needs than feeling for me. I feel I am devoid of all things... I feel everywhere there is cry for asking things from me, I get nothing in return. I remain so empty and void.

My feeling gets worse sometime when I feel no need of existing at all. Sometime my dreams are getting weakened because I see no ray of light to reach there. I feel as If I am running like a horse without a destination. I feel I am nothing to this world. It matters nothing to others whether I live or not.


Ultimately I feel that everyone that I meet everyday asks for one or the other things from me. There are none that I could really meet who needs me to live for my happiness but all needs me to live for their happiness.


The World will use me just to get what it can get from me. But nothing will I gain that will satisfy my soul, my thirst for inner peace....God save my soul... And Keep me strong....


I wish not to wither before the time.... Keep me steady and Focus ...leaning unto you